This article was written by Hadia Elnagdi,
iACT for Refugees Program Assistant
Names in this article have been changed to protect student identity
Some of the most impactful challenges refugees experience are leaving loved ones behind as they take the first steps of moving across the world to the United States. When I first met with Zainab at iACT morning ESL classes, she was desperately looking for help getting her medication. It was among a long list of medications she has been taking for severe depression (“the most expensive one,” she explained). Zainab is an Iraqi refugee who came to United States two years ago along with her husband and 20 years old son. They came on the Special Immigrant Visa (SIV) program, a visa issued by the Department of State to Iraqis and Afghans who were employed by the U.S military in some capacity to allow them to escape the “ongoing serious threat” of remaining in their homeland.
The family first settled in North Dakota before moving to Texas one year ago. Because the visa is only limited to the translator, spouse as well as unmarried children younger than 21, Zainab left behind her three older children and her grandchildren. When the family applied for the visa to come to the US they did not know that their older children were to stay behind. So a big reason she is depressed is that separation. “I was fine till I came to America.”
It’s not like they have not been through tough times. She remembers American sanctions against Iraq after the Iraqi-Kuwait war which meant that her kids grew up not knowing the taste of common fruits like bananas or oranges. In more recent years the 2003 invasion of Iraq put them all in jeopardy since her husband’s life was threatened because of his work as an interpreter with the American military. They survived these challenges and they were bearable since the family was all together.
One of Zainab’s daughters is a divorcee with two daughters. Since child custody issues in Iraq favor the father, the ex kept the oldest daughter away from her mother and now is stalking her threatening to take their second daughter too. “Every time I think about my daughter I burst into tears.” When she thinks of the dangers her children and grandchildren may be in she feels helpless and can’t sleep. “Life in Iraq is very difficult. No electricity, no work and no security” said Zainab. She hopes for her family to come soon since they are applying to the refugee program. “I can’t continue living with half a heart” she said.
While iACT was able to refer Zainab to other nonprofit organizations where she will be able to receive counseling, as well as assistance with her medications and her other social needs, we cannot help with her family reunion issue. We can only hope that they can be reunited in the near future.
We hope for the same for other refugees like Jamaal, a 71 year old retired engineer and his wife Amal, 61. They came from Iraq as refugees in 2015. Every time I saw Jamal, he would be eagerly asking staff members about how he could bring his adult children to America. The couple are now living with their youngest son, who was 18 years old when they came. They left behind three other children; two of them are married with kids and one is single. Jamal is still awaiting his long delayed green card, but like many other refugees he is living for the dream of being able to reunite with his children in America. His wife said that they spent time every day communicating with their children and grandchildren in Iraq by Skype or Messenger. “We are getting old and it’s very difficult for us to continue living away from our kids. We need them beside us as we are aging. Watching your kids through a computer screen is not enough for a mother and a father” she added.
As a matter of fact, refugees’ dream of being reunited with their families is possibly the strongest incentive to integrate and invest in their new country. It is also a barrier that slows down their integration when like Zainab they are stressed out and worried about their loved ones in danger back home. It’s hard to know how many migrant families are separated around the world. The U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) estimates tens of thousands. Most separated families say their main concern is the physical and psychological well-being of the rest of their family, especially in areas like Iraq and Syria. In America, only immediate family members are eligible to petition under US family reunification. This includes only unmarried children under the age of 21, spouses, or parents of the person requesting. This means that siblings, cousins, older children and grandchildren are not eligible to petition under the current family reunification program. It also means, for many, the overwhelming wish for a family reunion in America can be fulfilled only in dreams.
