By Charity LaShai

In the 90’s, the genre of Rhythm and Blues was at its height. From top artist like, Mariah Carey, New Edition, Boyz II Men, Whitney Houston and countless others, R&B honed some of the top vocalist of my generation. Each artist sang about their own perspective of what love is with such conviction, that we took the time to buy each cassette (or CD), placed it in our boom box on side A, pressed play, flipped it to side B and repeated this until we had every lyric memorized.  In 1992, a budding artist by the name of Mary J. Blige dropped a #1 hit song titled “Real Love.” The lyrics say: “Real love. I’m searching for a real love.” While replaying these lyrics in my head, and reminiscing on the good ole days, I pose a question. What is Real Love? 

We often hear the word in so many variations. One might say, “I love pizza.” Another person says, “I am in love with my wife.” Yet, another might say, “I love to dance.” Yes, we can say we love countless things and people in numerous ways, however, have we experienced the trueness of what love is? Do we even know what love feels like or is it even a feeling at all? I challenge you to take a quick moment to reflect on your life and think of that time when you felt “Real Love.” 

Perfect timing, right? Valentine’s season is upon us. With red roses being sold on the street corners, stores stocked with chocolate candies in heart shaped boxes, tons of sweetheart inspired balloons that scream I Love You and booked dinner reservations across the country; you better believe that the “appearance” of love is in the air. If we do not have it, most (if not all) are looking or longing for it. Yes, this is that Eros (romantic) love. This love is based on emotions, butterflies, passion, and googly eyes. Yes, this is that head over heels kind of love.  

Unfortunately, this is not the “Real Love” that I want to share with you. Eros can be quite fickle at times. Although it gives us some satisfaction, it is usually subject to validation, preference, and selfish desires. However, there is another kind. Agape! This love fills unhealed spaces, mends broken hearts, comforts us in grief, and reminds us of our self-worth.  Agape is a healing agent to the traumas of life and a metabolism booster for whole vessels. You see, Agape is the unconditional love that we receive from God. It is in His nature to love us, despite how we behave. Why, you ask? Because God is love (1 John 4:8b). You know the statements recited at countless weddings, “love is patient, love is kind…?” That is Agape, that is our God. 

Accepting that God loves me unconditionally has changed the way I now see the world. In a season where culture floods our timelines with its renditions of love through elaborate gifts and flights of fancy, my gift to you is simple yet priceless. Just open your eyes to a love more powerful than Eros. This gift will shift your perspective of what love is, what kind of love you desire, and persuade you to become what you are seeking. I challenge you to welcome Agape. Embrace this newfound love and share the gift that everyone has been searching for, for centuries. Your life will never be the same. When you find it, you can then say… Now that’s “Real Love.”