This article was written by Maggie Wagner, iACT Refugee Youth Program Coordinator. 

Do you remember what it was like to be a kid? There are certainly things from that time in my life that I forget, but one thing I cannot forget is the loneliness that I felt on a daily basis. I was awkward and felt socially isolated. It seemed like other kids had all learned rules of engagement with one another that I had never been taught. How do you get invited to sleep overs? At what point in a friendship do you ask somebody if they want to come over to your house to play? How do you know how to dress like a normal, pretty girl? I felt woefully unable to find anything like an answer to these questions, and thus I always felt like there was something wrong with me. It felt like my peers knew it too, and instinctively kept their distance.

At the time, and to a significant degree to this day, I attributed much of my confusion, nervousness, and fear in regard to my peers and school to the fact that I felt I had nobody to turn to for help.  My mother passed away due to breast cancer when I was nine years old. Before she died, she had been the person I looked to for explanations and comfort about absolutely everything. With her gone, I no longer had somebody to gently and lovingly explain the world to me. My father, who I love deeply and am grateful for every day, just did not have my mother’s ability to chart a path for me in life.

When I think back on that painful time in my life, I cannot help but cringe. It was, to say the least, a time I have no desire to ever return to. But when I think more about that time, I realize that I had so many advantages that the refugee youth I work with today do not have. I was born in the country where I was growing up. The language being used in the classroom and by my peers was my native tongue. I understood how school worked and what my teachers expected of me. I had a parent I could always rely on for ample food, clothing, shelter, medical care, and more. Yet despite all of these advantages, most of my adolescence and teen years were racked with extreme anxiety and the feeling of not belonging.

When I see the refugee youth we serve through iACT’s refugee youth program, I cannot help but imagine how much more difficult my already painful childhood could have been. If I had been suddenly dropped into a world where I did not speak the language, had no implicit understanding of the culture, and had to worry about my family’s financial struggles, would I have even survived my young life? I honestly am not sure. But what I am sure of is that the kids we see coming through iACT’s refugee youth program have often been through unimaginably traumatic situations. They have fled war, ethnic persecution, and religious intolerance. They have seen family members killed before their eyes. They have seen their homes destroyed. But, above all, they are still kids. They are still struggling with understanding the world, and finding a safe place to exist within it. I cannot begin to imagine how being subject to such traumas early on in life make it that much more difficult to find feelings of belonging and safety in the world. So, I feel an obligation to do whatever I can to help the kids we work with feel like somebody is on their side. I want these kids to know that there are good people out there who will step up and show them the way. I want them to have adults they can rely on for explanations and safety.

Do you think you could be that person? Could you be the one a refugee child looks to for advice and guidance? It certainly seems like a big responsibility. But, more than anything, what it takes to be a mentor to refugee youth is a big heart. If you can be patient, I want you to come be a mentor. If you went through middle school and high school and have some survival skills that you can pass along, I want you to be a mentor. If you can be a consistent and reliable source of reassurance to a confused and hurting child, I want you to be a mentor. Possessing any one of these qualities, and a desire to do good, is all that it takes to be a great mentor. You have the power to help.

If you are interested in being a source of support and comfort to these kids who are not only dealing with the confusion of adolescence, but so much more on top of it, please come learn more about iACT’s refugee youth mentorship opportunities. Our next training session will be on Wednesday, January 22, 2020 at the iACT office (2921 E 17^th St) from 6-7pm. You can RSVP here. I look forward to seeing you there, and to working together to make sure that the youth we serve are able to lead the prosperous, happy, confident lives they deserve.